Animal Kingdoms of Albion

You cheeky monkey
you made a pig's ear
by making a pig of yourself
as your detractors crow about
the elephant in the room

having a whale of a time
you made a right tit out of me
so don't rat on us
for there is a mole amongst us
and we are a spider's web of intrigue

goosed sheepish fleeced
not so bullish any more
not so tigerish loan shark
chameleon former Prime Minister 
obfuscating germane contemptible 

dogging sex eagle eyed sad eyed
we are mere ants 
in our crowbarred underpants 
but ants are mighty 
so that’s ok 

something fishy going on
lionised horseplay horsepower 
led by donkeys
you swan about not knowing you are pigeon holed 
a frogmarched toad in a hole
outfoxed by inattention to detail
right wing press and media
and associated swine


The Magic of Magic (Wzrds wtht Knldge)

how close are we to magic?
or for us is it nick nack Paddy wack
and a snafu snack?
or a poilu pimple dossier 
with Pringle crisps and socks
in a donkey kill pound sanctuary
global curry outcry
filament of Barry
fillet of tenderloin
love me tender
the sluice gates of our appetites

hoighty toighty or mighty nighty
play gaberdine football
in guttersnipe house development
all English eccentric electric
guttural glib lips add lib

dead zebra crossing
ungate a gate
let me in go on let me
scrying 12 inch records
spying spies
is us is us at 33rpm
float in whirlpool at 33rpm

hide me away
when a throat singer brings bling
askance by blended scotch whisky
yeah yeah who's your daddy?
not me in a hundred years yards dash
I could murder a sandwich and hang time
from a Christmas tree lonely
at the edge of a landfill site 

don't gamble on a gambler's amble
in a boor moor sunk in forgot peat
no need for tasting notes just give it to me

time is catching up while slipping away
should have been an horologist
a steady Eddie or Teddy
a ready already Freddie
a boar's boar a rat's rat 
a man's man good at that 
making an impression in and on a mattress
crime scene chalk downs
if I could only pick up the battered people of Syria

Fisticuff Cufflinks Lost in a Kerfuffle Over a Look

Let celebrities knock themselves out 
repeatedly in boxing rings if that’s what they want
good enough for them whoever they are meant to be
better prone and bloodied on the canvass 
than made up in my face or on my TV

there are jabs and there are jabs
the so called Jabs Army 
and the professional and amateur pugilists
the battalion of angry men red faced in their cups
I pray I get a vaccine when I get a jab
not a punch to my face

(hot air)
and flatulent murderers
do they get away with it?
in the permanently dumbed-down theatre of violence
do they get away with anything at all?

we ought not to forget to revisit peace agreements
as Good Friday is coming
and has been before 
drag out our guns
from where we hid them
in case faith is broken

if that faith is said with words
or said with swords
and OK so they are cut flowers now
beheaded by my similar scimitar
because it has to draw the crimson
or break the knot of life
each time it is unsheathed
and now you know my party trick
you will never see me again

Glove Compartment Love

Glove compartment with a scientific explanation
brassiere of the most helpful blockade 
the same type of accommodation
hanging in the future

Richard MacLean smith 
apples of gold and equipment
legitimately means playing dominoes 
a good thing to receive such alerts 
when new listings near Newcastle 
upon the contents and attachments 
if any other person is strictly prohibited 
to get vaccinated against computer viruses 

email late last week the week after that 
we are going through my observation 
of the Welsh Heritage of nuclear 
weapons and ammunition 
and the second half brother called Jenkin 
but would like to know if you could 
o my God 

the father felt that it held on Saturday and 
Sunday and Monday and Tuesday 
evenings and weekends and holidays 
and the rest is history tomorrow is in my understanding 
that we have been working classes 
whilst we are looking forward in hearing 
more conventional loan and the rest is ok 
with the archive rotation settings
name NUM camera 
name NUM camera 
name NUM camera 
name NUM camera 
name that appears to be able to breathe
more than one year


Putin Put Out

Dear Mr Lee yes there is a victim
please don't forget to check out the form
let this get a new adventure
medical guardians of my life
moonlight serenade of yacht club 

we are definitely not the plastic surgery 
and then delete this message
gloom and the sunshine
aerial view of an abyss of untruths 

a great weekend as well as a health issue 
close to the act of kindness 
and support you in advance of your windows

Android-thin line that says something about nothing 
Jimmy mode to get a forklift down
Turkish airlines in this bumph
drug underwear model haughty
awesome ewe oozing
vile zero is impossible to ban


Paper Trails Co-mingled with Snail Trails

Hail to the logs 
for more details please check your spam folder 
of the most helpful in directing me 
to inhabit a few weeks back today 

but arrived in this case for the Sun 
of my father was much appreciated 
and we are looking to get a better understanding 
of how the hell is going to be able to be a scammer 
of the most recent online marketing executive 
note we are not filtered into fascism 

the same type of work with the ease of reference 
for a decade of experience includes periods 
of a nuclear power plant project management
includes working in the future of our kingdom
and a female friend of mine who died 
in this message was automatically generated by Gmail 

your attrition rate is a quiet spot away from home 
and would appreciate it if you were to ring me 
on my laptop and phone paired 
with a population of a few months 
back and forth between storms in the morning 
and then delete it from your system 
without copying distributing or taking action


Parables of a Laboratory Monkey Released on a Deserted Deepfake Beach

Bramble is not in the middle of the day 
but it seems like a lot more
than a lot more people than the other one 
and that is the best way to do that this time
and we can find out what they want for us to do 
with this new version of the new version of this game
that is a better idea than a few more levels of Dad’s 

and I have a little more energy to play with the other side of the game 
and I will have a few minutes of the day to do with it 
but I hope that you are able to get a new one 
that is great and fun and addicting 
and fun and addictive and fun 
and the graphics look forward for more 
than two months after you have read it again 

and the north side is still good for a new one
to keep the good stuff on my phone 
and the app is very much more than the latest update
and it seems like a lot of the time to get more than two stars
but the game crashes every time I play this one 
and then again it will not work for a while

disclosure is the only problem with this one
that we are not using for our current insurance policy 
for a new one that is still available for us 
to get it done for you tomorrow morning 

and then I can have a meeting with this account 
for the week of April thanks again 
and hope that you both well 
and enjoy your time together with this family 

happy happy new day to you 
both of us have been a great day for you
and hope all of your family and family are doing good
thanks again and happy happy new poems 
for your mother in the north of the world


The Negotiators at Christmas

Christmas bubbling Jesus in a Brussels sprout
vaccine on live TV filled with llama antibodies
inoculate America nearly unicorn status
analysts mull over what it's really worth

how to watch The Great Conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn
weird radio beams probably isn't aliens
and is Die Hard a Christmas film?
Emmanuel Macron puppet 
branded astonishingly rubbish
almost quit sequel over pay discrepancies

here's what's happening to services
your bins will be emptied
to prevent opportunistic fraud
OAP's TV destroyed as a gunman
opens fire from Amazon delivery van
exhume millions of mink from mass graves
golf is now banned
lorry drivers scuffle with police
port chaos is "new normal"
2021 is not cancelled yet

serial killer fan jailed for life
killer revealed after he loses appeal
confessed to poisoning him in trick phone call
spent 17 years jetting across Europe
thought he was going to die
given extra jail time for nurse assault

his first new recording for a decade
urged to address nation
three packed Florida gigs with no social distancing
falling iguanas forecast in Miami weather report
demanding only beautiful new buildings
an empty theatre in his hometown

gaps in shelves too many shoppers inside
strange tattoos scars and glued-on wigs
shoppers attack security guards
shoppers beg attackers to stop

Coronavirus finally reaches Antarctica
UK gives dark glimpse of pandemic's next move
laughing with minister about prospect of no deal Brexit
issues profit warning
three martini lunch deduction slides 6%
France has taken control of its borders
UK's last passenger cancelled Christmas train


News of No News and New Rules

Killing of a nuclear scientist
should not stand in the way 
of people choosing their future

toilet of England turned his life around
stopping 110 drivers helped him
face funding black hole

super predator shaped the criminal justice system
serving only half her sentence
told 15 times not to worry

thick fog to engulf the voice of golf
what is a level playing field?
marathon not a sprint

sorry for author’s anti-semitism
unforgivable act of sacrilege
focus on her mental health

should be ashamed for feeding Britain's hungry kids
nation not to blow it after ethicist's firing
organised crime driving dog theft epidemic

share jubilant vaccine photos
repeat little Christmas plea
which tier am I in?

can you even remember January?


Tradesman’s Entrance

Belt up at the tradesman's entrance
shut your trap pipe down keep schtum
button your lip or it’s a bunch of fives
or six of one half a dozen of another

and just a minute was fifteen minutes ago
a wake up call the cuckoo’s call you and all
buckle up knuckle down clown around
muck about mad about swan about

chop chop at the hop cream of the crop never stop
give it a go on the go in the know told you so
it's in the past at last it’s passed put out to grass
long face waste of space human race amazing grace

invisible ink tickled pink what to think kitchen sink 
sink or swim on a whim full to the brim with him
donkey tails on the sale in the mail wind in sails
bums on seats dogs on heat in retreat it's my treat

in arrears I’m all ears dry your tears hopes and fears
integrate self isolate don’t be late shut the gate
I nod off cheesed off browned off dropped off
in the red so they said stayed in bed playing dead

shift your carcass use your compass paint a canvass
join a circus make a rumpus learn your campus
in any case the look on your face in your parking space
it’s good to catch up and stir up some syrup and ketchup

please keep your distance it's an insistence not everyone listens
in it together forever and ever on the never never
saw it on TV some celebrity must be verity
the cheque's in the post for the Holy Ghost kazoo the Last Post